zsh/lib/motd.zsh

   1 autoload colors; colors;
   2
   3 short()
   4 {
   5   print "$fg_bold[white]$1$reset_color  $2"
   6 }
   7
   8 msg()
   9 {
  10   print "$fg_bold[white]$1$reset_color\n$2\n"
  11 }
  12
  13 function () {
  14     function c()
  15     {
  16         local rand=$(od -An -t u1 -N1 /dev/urandom)
  17         local idx=$((1 + (rand % $#)))
  18         echo ${@[$idx]}
  19     }
  20
  21     recurring_event=(
  22         "the $(c fall spring) equinox"
  23         "the $(c winter summer) $(c solstice olympics)"
  24         "the $(c erliest latest) $(c sunrise sunset)"
  25         "the daylight $(c saving savings) time"
  26         "the leap $(c day year)"
  27         "easter"
  28         "the $(c harvest super blood) moon"
  29         "Toyota Truck Month"
  30         "Shark Week"
  31     )
  32     drifters=(
  33         sun
  34         moon
  35         zodiac
  36         "$(c gregorian mayan lunar iPhone) calendar"
  37         "atomic clock in Colorado"
  38     )
  39     unusual_manner=(
  40         "happens $(c earlier later "at the wrong time") every year"
  41         "drifts out of sync with the $(c ${drifters[@]})"
  42         "might $(c "not happen" "happen twice") this year"
  43     )
  44     ions_and_ities=(precession libration nutation libation eccentricity obliquity)
  45     iees_and_itees=(
  46         moon
  47         sun
  48         "earth's axis"
  49         equator
  50         "prime meridian"
  51         "$(c "international date" "Mason-Dixon") line"
  52     )
  53
  54     phenomenon=(
  55         "time zone legislation in $(c Indiana Arizona Russia)"
  56         "a decree by the Pope in the 1500s"
  57         "$(c ${ions_and_ities[@]}) of the $(c ${iees_and_itees[@]})"
  58         "magnetic field reversal"
  59         "an arbitrary decision by $(c "Benjamin Franklin" "Isaac Newton" "FDR")"
  60     )
  61     excuse=(
  62         "will never happen"
  63         "actually makes things worse"
  64         "is stalled in congress"
  65         "might be unconstitutional"
  66     )
  67     statement=(
  68         "it causes a predictable increase in car accidents"
  69         "that's why we have leap seconds"
  70         "scientists are really worried"
  71         "it was even more extreme during the $(c "bronze age" "ice age" cretaceous 1990s)"
  72         "there's a proposal to fix it, but it $(c ${excuse[@]})"
  73         "it's getting worse and no one knows why"
  74     )
  75     consequence=(
  76         "causes huge headaches for software developers"
  77         "is taken advantage of by high-speed traders"
  78         "triggered the 2003 Northeast Blackout"
  79         "has to be corrected for by GPS satellites"
  80         "is now recognized as a major cause of World War I"
  81     )
  82     autoload zmathfunc
  83     which zsh_math_func_min >/dev/null || zmathfunc
  84     echo -n "Did you know that $(c ${recurring_event[@]}) $(c ${unusual_manner[@]})" \
  85         "because of $(c ${phenomenon[@]})?  Apparently $(c ${statement[@]}). " \
  86         "While it may seem like trivia, it $(c ${consequence[@]})." | fmt -w $((min(COLUMNS, 80)))
  87 }