-function () {
- function c()
- {
- local rand=$(od -An -t u1 -N1 /dev/urandom)
- local idx=$((1 + (rand % $#)))
- echo ${@[$idx]}
- }
-
- recurring_event=(
- "the $(c fall spring) equinox"
- "the $(c winter summer) $(c solstice olympics)"
- "the $(c erliest latest) $(c sunrise sunset)"
- "the daylight $(c saving savings) time"
- "the leap $(c day year)"
- "easter"
- "the $(c harvest super blood) moon"
- "Toyota Truck Month"
- "Shark Week"
- )
- drifters=(
- sun
- moon
- zodiac
- "$(c gregorian mayan lunar iPhone) calendar"
- "atomic clock in Colorado"
- )
- unusual_manner=(
- "happens $(c earlier later "at the wrong time") every year"
- "drifts out of sync with the $(c ${drifters[@]})"
- "might $(c "not happen" "happen twice") this year"
- )
- ions_and_ities=(precession libration nutation libation eccentricity obliquity)
- iees_and_itees=(
- moon
- sun
- "earth's axis"
- equator
- "prime meridian"
- "$(c "international date" "Mason-Dixon") line"
- )
-
- phenomenon=(
- "time zone legislation in $(c Indiana Arizona Russia)"
- "a decree by the Pope in the 1500s"
- "$(c ${ions_and_ities[@]}) of the $(c ${iees_and_itees[@]})"
- "magnetic field reversal"
- "an arbitrary decision by $(c "Benjamin Franklin" "Isaac Newton" "FDR")"
- )
- excuse=(
- "will never happen"
- "actually makes things worse"
- "is stalled in congress"
- "might be unconstitutional"
- )
- statement=(
- "it causes a predictable increase in car accidents"
- "that's why we have leap seconds"
- "scientists are really worried"
- "it was even more extreme during the $(c "bronze age" "ice age" cretaceous 1990s)"
- "there's a proposal to fix it, but it $(c ${excuse[@]})"
- "it's getting worse and no one knows why"
- )
- consequence=(
- "causes huge headaches for software developers"
- "is taken advantage of by high-speed traders"
- "triggered the 2003 Northeast Blackout"
- "has to be corrected for by GPS satellites"
- "is now recognized as a major cause of World War I"
- )
- autoload zmathfunc
- which zsh_math_func_min >/dev/null || zmathfunc
- echo -n "Did you know that $(c ${recurring_event[@]}) $(c ${unusual_manner[@]})" \
- "because of $(c ${phenomenon[@]})? Apparently $(c ${statement[@]}). " \
- "While it may seem like trivia, it $(c ${consequence[@]})." | fmt -w $((min(COLUMNS, 80)))
-}